Your Second Love

It's really weird to try to love again after your first love. It's so different. Your feelings are different, how you act is different, and maybe even your expectations are different. It's also quite difficult to open yourself up to love again, especially if you got your heart broken the first time.

I'm not currently in love again for the second time, but I am trying with a new person. It's been an interesting experience to say the least.

When I first 'fell in love' it was a whirlwind of emotions. I felt so crazy about him and I didn't have a doubt in my mind. It's like you get all this giddiness for the person and it's a teenager romance for sure. The second time though... it's not the same. It's more of a calm sureness, a steady stream flowing. I don't feel all these overwhelming emotions but just a sure likeness. Maybe it's because this time it isn't solely based on emotions, but rather a collection of similarities and friendship. I'm not saying one is better than the other, they're just different. I do like that our relationship is based on these things because it seems more like a solid foundation. My first love and I fizzled out, so maybe this second time around it won't.

This second time also has been a steady growth of feelings and liking. My first love it all just happened so fast and hit me! But this time, as time goes on I like him more and more. Maybe at some point as time passes  I will have all these crazy emotions for him, but only time will tell.

These differences aren't bad, but just that, differences. I'm taking it day by day and learning as I go. All I can do is try to open myself up to this new person and hope for the best. I've already had my heart broken so I'm not really scared for it to happen again. I know what to expect and I don't think it will be as bad the second time around.

I guess what I really want to say is, don't be scared to try again. It won't be the same, it's going to be messy and it's going to be hard, but try again. If there is one thing I've learned so far in life it's that love is so important and it's real. And you can love again.

Been a while

Zamn, I haven't used this since high school! I didn't think I would ever come back to it actually. I randomly stumbled upon it and maybe I can use it to vent? ehhh, who knows. Wanna know something about me that I've only told my best friend?

I have social anxiety.

In fact, today I had one of my worst panic attacks yet. And I didn't even think I would get them! But it happened. I suppose it was a build up of stress from school and also from a situation I surprisingly will keep secret. It was a fear/anticipation of seeing someone I've never met before, I will say that. I can't believe it triggered me to have an attack though. I get anxiety but I rarely get attacks. I mean, I've only had a couple in my life. Until now *sigh*

When I first started going to Western, It was difficult for me to just walk on campus. There were so many people around me and it freaked me out. Peoples looks, their eyes, I couldn't handle it. Weird, right? I hate people looking at me. I finally discovered that I had a mild case of general social anxiety and I'm currently trying to help myself rather than go get help from a professional. I feel like I'm doing ok.... I've accepted it. Today's attack came as a surprise but I will use it as a learning experience and hopefully ward them off in the future.

I don't think I will even keep using this blog haha, feels good to write though ^_^

HALLOWEEN

So Halloween is right around the corner! its also my birthday so im super excited and naturally, its one of my favorite holidays. The only bad thing is... I dont have a costume yet! D: My choice of costumes are



A kitty




and a pilot!


decisions, decisions..... I will probably go with whatever is the cheapest and easiest to find/make. Wish me luck!

<3

?

Are there only the typical, asshole guys out there? Dont get me wrong I am attracted to those types of guys but I would love/want more. Those types of guys also annoy the heck out of me and just piss me off. I will cherish the day when I meet a guy thats different then the rest and can blow me away. I cant wait.

Let me make a list of what I've observed in these "asshole" type guys

• They usually drink, and excessively
• Know how to "woo" a woman
• outgoing/ people person
• secretely sensitive
• mentally retarded ( haha not really but I sure think they are)

Maybe another day I will write about other types of guys and stereoypes , or better yet my dream guy!

Your know it all about guys woman, chelsy :)

First time! :D

Ok so this is my first blog! I have never done this before and I'm excited to get started :) I guess to start out I want to show some fashion because I'm feeling really inspired right now! enjoy.
Oh also lets start out with the goods and the bads, also known as ins and outs

Bads
1. I procrastinate on my homework
2. college apps are HARD
3. Im feeling oh so not attractive at the moment


Goods
1. God is by my side and helping me
2. I can get my homework done
3. I have the perfect idea for my college essay!
4. I have been bombarded with dreams and goals that I want to achieve and am excited about

Some fall fashion


I love rachels style!


and vanessa hudgens

Fashion likes: boots! and scarfs