Following Your Dreams

I wanted to write about something that has been recently instilled in me and has quite honestly been an amazing experience. This something is inspiration or following your dreams.

I didn't wake up one morning filled with inspiration nor did it hit me one day. I actually can't even pin point what month or what day this all started happening. But what I can say is that it was just there, and once it was there I began to do things to achieve my goals and dreams I have been daydreaming for years. Maybe I just got fed up with the cycle of life, going through the motions and what not. Or maybe I don't want to grow old and regret all the things I didn't do. I just didn't want to sit around anymore and daydream, I wanted to make my daydream a reality. And why not? I have this one life to live and gosh dang it I'm gonna live it!

I just want to encourage everyone to follow their dreams. Why are we waiting around, miserable, doing things we hate and constantly dreaming of a different life? You are living your life right now! what's stopping you from doing that one thing you've always wanted to do? All you have to do is go out and DO IT. That's it... it's really that simple. You need to get inspired and take a step towards whatever you want to achieve. And it can be anything. I understand there are things that hold us back such as money or a family, but that's not what I'm talking about here. It's actually just taking that first step towards doing something that stirs passion in your heart. Something that motivates you, that you daydream about all the time. Wanna know what that was for me? YouTube. I've always wanted to make beauty videos but I've struggled with insecurities, doubt, discouragement, social anxiety and just putting myself out there in general. But I am finally following my dream and making videos and putting them up on my YouTube channel! You might not think that's a big deal, but for me it is. I've daydreamed about this for a long time now and since this whole inspiration thing hit me, I've been taking small steps to achieve my goal. I'm even saving up for a nice quality camera! Yes it will take sacrifice. Yes it will take time. DO NOT get discouraged. Keep going. And surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who will encourage you to follow your dreams. And surround yourself with inspiration! Don't forget to pray to the big man upstairs too ^_^

Life is truly what you make it. You get this one life, what are you going to do with it?

Arizona Vacation

So I went to Arizona for a little vacation at Caryn's Uncle's house in Chandler and man was it nice. It was a steady 107 degrees the whole time and while it was very hot at first, we got used to the heat in no time. We lounged around in the sun soaking up the hot rays and swam in their beautiful pool to cool down. We went to  'the club the club the club' a.k.a the swanky country club where we got to swim and lounge with the richies. The next day we went to Sedona to see the beautiful canyons and play in a river and yes, Arizona actually has water! Who would have thought. And then Thursday night was the real party. We ate at an expensive steakhouse dining on ribs and wine. After that we hit up some bars and went to a wine bar where I had the sweetest wine I've ever tasted. Like it was actually sweeter than Moscato. Delicious. Then the real fun happened back at their place where we took shots and night swam. Best feeling ever! Try it, seriously. We ended our trip by sight seeing and just laying by the pool. It was a wonderful trip and I loved meeting Caryn's family, they are truly amazing people and I hope I can go back someday! Below are some photos to sum up and share my fun vacation ^_^ Enjoy!

DONE WITH FINALS!!!

Woohooo! Guys I'm finally done with finals!!! yippee! I just wanna dance around and relax at the same time haha. My summer has officially started :D And I couldn't be more excited because not only do I have some fun trips planned, I have a couple creative projects I will be working on (including this blog). These projects will definitely test my shyness and fear of putting myself out there. But I feel like this is something I've needed to do for a while now and I finally feel ready. I hope I can follow through with them ;)

Here are some silly pictures :P

25 Facts About Me

1. I'm surprisingly a good singer but I never sing in front of anyone because I'm embarrassed
             
            2. I've been to Canada, Mexico and Europe and I plan to travel to Australia next ^_^

                      3. I secretly want to be a YouTube beauty guru haha

4. I started living with my grandparents in the 8th grade

                       5. I am OBSESSED with perfume and anything that smells good

          6. I'm shy around new people but once I warm up to you I'm a hyper, rude weirdo

7. I'm majoring in Psychology and I have a minor obsession with pharmaceutical drugs, meaning I want to do research in that area

              8. I'm practically a midget.... I'm 5'0 -__-

                        9. I can eat the fastest and the most out of everyone I know
       
             10. I'm an introvert

                                     11. I am also OBSESSED with sloths. If I could go to a sloth haven right now I  would in a heart beat

12. I have potty humor. I think pooping and farting is funny.... lol

      13. When I'm at home I turn on the t.v. to the Disney channel when I sleep because I'm scared of the dark

                  14. I love scary movies

     15. I used to be a dancer. I did ballet and mostly hip hop

16. I tried wrestling my senior year of high school and ended up fracturing my collar bone

                         17. My room is usually always a mess

                                     18. I have a temper A.K.A anger problems

      19. I love to read

                  20. I have a love/hate relationship with vyvanse

21. Sometimes I get urges to do crazy things, like sell drugs or get a piercing

                                       22. I'm a Christian

                                                   23. I love coffee, you could call me an addict

         24. I'm moving into a house with my best friend and two other girls next year and I'm STOKED (picture below, looks ghetto but it's really nice inside tehe)

25. I've never had a dog and I want one SO bad

So ya, I didn't really know what to write about today and I saw another blogger do this and I was like, why not? You got to know me a little and now I will stop procrastinating homework. Byyeeeeeeeeee

Your Second Love

It's really weird to try to love again after your first love. It's so different. Your feelings are different, how you act is different, and maybe even your expectations are different. It's also quite difficult to open yourself up to love again, especially if you got your heart broken the first time.

I'm not currently in love again for the second time, but I am trying with a new person. It's been an interesting experience to say the least.

When I first 'fell in love' it was a whirlwind of emotions. I felt so crazy about him and I didn't have a doubt in my mind. It's like you get all this giddiness for the person and it's a teenager romance for sure. The second time though... it's not the same. It's more of a calm sureness, a steady stream flowing. I don't feel all these overwhelming emotions but just a sure likeness. Maybe it's because this time it isn't solely based on emotions, but rather a collection of similarities and friendship. I'm not saying one is better than the other, they're just different. I do like that our relationship is based on these things because it seems more like a solid foundation. My first love and I fizzled out, so maybe this second time around it won't.

This second time also has been a steady growth of feelings and liking. My first love it all just happened so fast and hit me! But this time, as time goes on I like him more and more. Maybe at some point as time passes  I will have all these crazy emotions for him, but only time will tell.

These differences aren't bad, but just that, differences. I'm taking it day by day and learning as I go. All I can do is try to open myself up to this new person and hope for the best. I've already had my heart broken so I'm not really scared for it to happen again. I know what to expect and I don't think it will be as bad the second time around.

I guess what I really want to say is, don't be scared to try again. It won't be the same, it's going to be messy and it's going to be hard, but try again. If there is one thing I've learned so far in life it's that love is so important and it's real. And you can love again.

Been a while

Zamn, I haven't used this since high school! I didn't think I would ever come back to it actually. I randomly stumbled upon it and maybe I can use it to vent? ehhh, who knows. Wanna know something about me that I've only told my best friend?

I have social anxiety.

In fact, today I had one of my worst panic attacks yet. And I didn't even think I would get them! But it happened. I suppose it was a build up of stress from school and also from a situation I surprisingly will keep secret. It was a fear/anticipation of seeing someone I've never met before, I will say that. I can't believe it triggered me to have an attack though. I get anxiety but I rarely get attacks. I mean, I've only had a couple in my life. Until now *sigh*

When I first started going to Western, It was difficult for me to just walk on campus. There were so many people around me and it freaked me out. Peoples looks, their eyes, I couldn't handle it. Weird, right? I hate people looking at me. I finally discovered that I had a mild case of general social anxiety and I'm currently trying to help myself rather than go get help from a professional. I feel like I'm doing ok.... I've accepted it. Today's attack came as a surprise but I will use it as a learning experience and hopefully ward them off in the future.

I don't think I will even keep using this blog haha, feels good to write though ^_^

HALLOWEEN

So Halloween is right around the corner! its also my birthday so im super excited and naturally, its one of my favorite holidays. The only bad thing is... I dont have a costume yet! D: My choice of costumes are



A kitty




and a pilot!


decisions, decisions..... I will probably go with whatever is the cheapest and easiest to find/make. Wish me luck!

<3